On Working in the Gaps

Recently on the blog, I shared my belief that when we work outside of the walls of the church, we share the same inherent value as a preacher in a pulpit—one is not more sacred than the other. All work is hard and holy and offers us the opportunity to flourish as beloved human beings while simultaneously bringing glimmers of light to our little corners of the world—like a disco ball.

As that post poured out of my heart and spilled onto my screen, I sensed I had more to say than one blog post could possibly hold. Even though what I wrote resonated deeply with many of you, some of you reached out and asked why I didn’t address this or that. Here’s the thing: if I said it all in one sitting, two things I want to happen in our still small corner of the internet could never come to be.

First, we could not continue this conversation, and I believe shifts in perspective take place in our minds first, in our bodies later, and ultimately happen over long periods of time. We’re embarking on a liturgy of learning about the ministry of work outside of the walls of our churches. So, friends, we need time together. Let’s let this conversation simmer on low heat so we can coax out every last ounce of flavor possible.

Second, even if I had attempted to answer all of the unanswered questions in that post, there would be no space left for you to enter into the conversation—I would have the last word. You need blank space to think, imagine, question, and experiment! If you can’t participate in the story, then there is a relatively small opportunity for you to cultivate lasting change. So instead of following every rabbit trail that pops up (and I do love a good rabbit trail), I hope you’ll follow along with me and participate in the long conversation. I promise to share my thoughts and experiences along the way, which is why you’re here (maybe, haha). So let’s get to it.

Let’s go deeper by talking about gap jobs—the kind of jobs we take in between, or prior to finding a job we prefer. When I shared my husband’s story of ministering as a custodian, it struck a chord with many of my readers. Amidst all of the heartfelt comments and “me too” stories, people asked lots of questions. Beneath every question and story was an underlying tension: how can we be a faithful presence in a job we don’t enjoy (or maybe even in a job we do enjoy) when we have no intention of staying?

I’ll begin to wade into the deep ocean of my thoughts about this tension by acknowledging a few important things. First, I don’t know the unique circumstances which bring anyone into the position of accepting a job that they might not have chosen gladly (or later wish they hadn’t taken). Just because you don’t love where you are right now doesn’t mean you are less worthy than someone in their dream job. Our worth is not defined by our work anyway. We are beloved by God exactly as we are. Period.

Second, I won’t pretend that many people working in entry-level jobs, or jobs they dislike, aren’t working their butts off to keep food on the table and gas in the car. That was our situation for many years. I’ve heard people describe certain jobs as suitable only for college students or people with no education. Let me remind you, my husband had a Masters of Divinity and was scrubbing toilets. This posture is problematic, ignorant, and lacking in compassion. I want to speak to this tension with the tenderness and care it deserves because maybe that’s your story too.

I remember when I was nineteen years old, I accepted my first non-babysitting job as an employee of a local bookstore. At the time, I was also a student of Interior Design at a community college. I had no intention of shelving bookshelves for the rest of my life, nor did I enjoy being covered in packing peanuts while unboxing tchotchkes. Don’t even get me started on breaking down boxes. It was a job.

I took the temporary position at the bookstore to earn money and build my resumé, and after the holiday rush, they offered me a permanent position. I accepted. While employed there, I learned some valuable lessons about professionalism, company culture, integrity, office politics, and customer service. I made my first work friends and also learned why boundaries are important. As I progressed up the ranks (read: supervisor with a key), I gained experience and the trust of my superiors, but it was still just a job.

I never intended to stay long, but even with that in mind, I felt a sense of obligation to my employers and myself to be present. There is something beautifully redemptive about being present, consistent, reliable, trustworthy, kind, hard-working, and enthusiastic even when there’s nothing in it for us beyond a paycheck. I believe it demonstrates our values and also reveals God at work in us.

Yeah, that’s easy for you to say, Kristen. What about me though? I can’t stand my boss, I hate the work, but I don’t have any other options right now. I’m stuck.

Here’s the thing—I hear you. It’s easy for me to share that story because eventually, I was able to leave. I realize that’s not the case for many people; some people truly cannot leave. Their families are depending on their income, the rent is due next week, and they have no prospects, either due to a lack of experience, education, or motivation…maybe even fear of change or loss of security.

For some of you, it’s hard to even admit you’re in a job you don’t want anymore. You might have started the job with high hopes and later realized you weren’t cut out for it, or the company isn’t a good fit for you. Maybe you don’t hate your job, but it was supposed to be a step on the path to the next one, the one you really want. It’s possible you’re not doing the work you went to school for—that can feel so defeating.

When we find ourselves in these positions, the temptation is to believe the lie that we’re wasting our life, our money, and our talent. I’m here to tell you you’re not wasting anything except your energy believing those lies. Repeat it with me: your worth is not determined by your work. Now let’s add this: your understanding of your worth can have an impact on your work.

The challenges we face as employees, entrepreneurs, contractors, and custodians are many and those problems can feel even bigger when we’re stuck in a job we hate or that we’ve grown out of. So how to we remain a faithful presence when bitterness and resentment are licking our heels?

In his book Every Good Endeavor, Timothy Keller talks about how our view about work can help us to endure, even when we feel stuck. He writes beautifully about the process of connecting our work to God’s work and about seeing work as a way to serve others rather than ourselves. From his perspective, we might look at the jobs we feel stuck in (the non-dream jobs) as opportunities to serve our neighbor and care for creation.

That’s easy to say when you’re working as a barista at a coffee shop (or maybe not, I’ve done that too and people can be CRAY about their coffee), but what about if you’re working in a call center where everyone’s problem is yours? That’s tougher, but this is when I truly believe our transformed character really shines—when our understanding of our worth (beloved by God just as we are) impacts our work.

Choosing kindness and resilience when we have the option (maybe even the right) to be bitter and bitchy speaks volumes. Your kindness has the power to transform someone else’s day and they may be caught off guard in a good way. Kindness is never wasted. Your current employer might not recognize it, but God sees it and it is good.

One final thought—if we’re truly honest with ourselves, sometimes the reason we have a hard time finding value in the work we do is because we have unfulfilled dreams and desires. Somewhere along the path, we found ourselves in this job, doing this work, feeling unsatisfied and then feeling guilty for not feeling grateful. You don’t have to force false feelings of gratitude because that’s what Christians “should” do. Don’t should on yourself. Be honest and ask God for the patience and grace to show up again, knowing God goes before you and is with you while work in the gap.

I guess all I want to say is this—your value is not determined by your work and it’s definitely not determined based on where you’re at on your ideal career path. When I went back into real estate last summer after six or seven years on a church staff, it was bizarre. I wondered, “Is this a small break in my ministry career or is this my new ministry?” I think you know the answer to that by now, but even if you don’t, know this. I’m right there with you figuring out how to be present, consistent, reliable, trustworthy, kind, hard-working, and enthusiastic—even on days I don’t feel like it. That, my friends, is the hard and holy work of ministry. We’re in this together, you at your job and me at mine.